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Conflict with a Colleague. Step One: Review

conflict performance Feb 09, 2021

If you are experiencing conflict with a colleague and you would like to address it. So you are the target or involved in conflict with another person in the team.

Carefully review the situation​, evaluate what has happened before you take actions. Ask yourself is this behavior normal from this person or is this person just having a bad day? If it's typical behaviour  it might be time to do something about it, which we covered in the live training. 

Here I want to focus on if it is out of character. Who has heard of the Iceberg effect? It is used to explain the concept that 20% of the iceberg you can see and 80% is under the water. So this means that what you see in terms of verbal and non-verbal communication is influenced by what is happening below the surface eg. financial issues, sick loved ones, time constraints, trying to manage multiple people’s expectations.

So if it is out of character for this person then you can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them time. Maybe even consider sending them a text later saying “Are you ok?”. By showing compassion rather than anger or reaction you may lower the waterline and allow them to share why they are behaving so out of character.

When we face conflict, if we approach it with the intention to "lower the waterline" - and this applies to general conflict with friends, family and within the consult room - it helps us to look that things from another perspective, which helps your demonstrate empathy and create connection. 


Our next performance training will be on Thursday 4 March. You can join here



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